Friday, December 10, 2010

man ima negative nancy today....

It seems that i will have to move to a new hotel now because the one im at now is run by a greedy indian jerk. He is charging me a crap load of money just for my stay and on top of it i have to pay for my dinner separately. so my friends at the school are going crazy trying to find me a new place to stay. i am grateful for them =]

we had to teach a child today for 45 minutes one on one... i was so nervous. i think i did terrible lol. i had the lesson plan and did everything i wrote down and whatever but i dont think the girl understood a thing. i am beginning to wonder if this is something i am ready for or not.... maybe i need more practice. or maybe i am just negative today lol... =/

And on top of that, we had to learn grammar and the rules for the english language, and OMFG its so hard.... how is it that i can speak the language so perfectly and not be able to explain WHY?! gahhh.

i think i just need to let all this crazy negative steam blow off and think of the positives i get to do...

Tmro i am helping Harimaya type out a paper for her. she has to submit it to get another job at a university! this is very important to her and she asked me to help her =] that i am very proud of. Im glad i have her as a friend. when we were walking back tonight, we were  in silence for a while and i was just letting my mind dwelll on things, and after a while she said 'what is it you let your mind be tormented by?' it took a lot for me not to cry lol. but i didnt and just told her all my fears and she thought for a moment and said tmro, we will go to Thamel and look for a hotel for you. and when we find one, i will help you to pack up your things and move in. after that we will go shopping and get you some beautiful clothes.'

so grateful for my new friend. she also said that she will take me to the monkey temple lol where supposedly there are monkeys everywhere! that i am very excited about.

we saw lots of wedding ceremonies today because i guess today was a good day to get married according to the horoscopes? so i got to see many beautiful women and men all dressed in their best saris and suits. soo gorgeous. the colors in this place make me want to paint myself with them lol i want to own every piece of clothing i see!! even the fabric is amazing its all so soft and flow-y... haha i love it.

haha on the walk to class this morning, a man was so obviously staring at me and doing some weird freaky face at me that hari and i looked at each other as he passed and had the SAME look of 'what the hell...' on our faces that we busted out laughing hahaha i was nearly in tears!

and last night before we left the classroom, i showed Kamal and Hari both Photobooth haha... you can just imagine their excitement i hope. They were both laughing so hard that Kamal (my super serious teacher) was snorting lmao!! oh soo funny. maybe i will post some photos they took soon after i ask if it is ok for me to do so lol.

i hope my dark mood passes. it was gone for a while this morning when i was sitting in the garden waiting for Hari to get me. I was sitting in the chair and the sun was on my face just the right amount that i was warm all over and my eyelids got heavy lol i meditated for about ten fifteen mins and then realized i had fallen asleep ahah!

i have much work to do and lots of studying for school.... i hope to hear from you all soon...

much love.

12 comments:

  1. hey girl
    Maybe you should have Kamal talk to the Principal of the school and ask him to talk to the manager of your hotel and see if he can straighten things out.
    If that doesnt work and you do move be sure you talk to someone you can trust there and tell them you are expecting a package and leave your new address with them so they can forward it or call you when it arrives.Or tell them to hold it for you and I can try and track it and let you know when it arrives love the GRAMPS

    ReplyDelete
  2. i well GC is the coordinator lol there are only five of us in the building haha and he is looking for me and will let me know on monday if he finds anything. as for the package, i will wait until it gets here because i dont trust anyone at the hotel that much lol. some are cool but the manager seems like a snake and i am not too fond of him... could you track it anyways? just to be sure?

    ReplyDelete
  3. aww man Harimaya is such a good friend. i love her so much and i don't even know her.

    As for teaching, most people (including myself) think it is not very difficult until you actually have to become the teacher. It is a skill you have to work very hard to develop so is normal to not be a pro right away. You wouldn't expect your first time skiing never to fall, would you? I think it's the same with teaching.

    And i know this is cliche, but it is true that you grow tremendously more from hard experiences than you do from easy ones. So try to remember that and stay positive! I believe in you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. ps i love the part about photobooth. I don't know what it is about photobooth but it seems to have this magical universal appeal

    ReplyDelete
  5. pps I realized that my comments about teaching don't really make much sense if i don't explain i lil more. I have been doing this thing called peer health exchange this year. basically they train college volunteers to teach health classes in public high schools. I have been blown away from learning how difficult it is to be a good teacher. So much goes into it and it's really hard work. I appreciate my good teachers so much more now! (If you decide to go to school in a big city, you should see if they have PHE at your school! i really recommend it. check out their website)

    So yeah those comments about teaching really came from the personal experience I had with learning to teach. It does get easier after awhile especially once you're feeling less nervous (I was soooo nervous when I taught the first time, and my students were speaking the same language as me so I can't even imagine how you felt).

    Anyway I would love to hear more about your trials and errors with teaching since I can really relate. good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  6. punkin, dont stress about the hotel. if you have to stay there, that is fine..don't worry about it. I am sure your teacher will help out,but if not, then just stay put. I will make sure there is money in your account for this shoppin your planning..just don't buy out the country.haha
    and it is so true about the teaching..remember when you went to romania, and you thought your class was not learning anything, and in the end they did? Cut yourself a break and just do your best.! Ask God for patience:) He will be there to lean on and tell Hari and your teacher I am glad they are there for you to get to know and make you feel loved while your away:) Lean on yourself and God most though...you can do this. You are an amzing young woman and are just starting out to see what your about...enjoy this time and sometimes things don't have to be hard to learn...I love you

    ReplyDelete
  7. pss

    everyone is allowed a bad day, just brush yourself off, and start over the next day is the difference between everyone else and YOU!!! Have a wonderful day and Enjoy it..don't put so much pressure on yourself. Prayin for you:)
    oh, and that is great that Hari wants your help..just don't type LOL in it everywhere.haha

    ReplyDelete
  8. ahh omg i love you all =] and lily thats awesome that you are doing that! i would love to find out more about it! i will definitely look into it. and ill for sure post about my other teachings. next we ahve to teach a full classroom.... ohh god lol.

    hahah ma i will try not to use it haha and i will try not to buy the whole country!! we will see how the hotel situation plays out so i will let you know. love you!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. you are just starting out! You will be great! Happy to hear you have some good friends already! Trust your instinct about the manager. If you feel he is a snake and dont trust him keep looking for a new place and if you find one check out after your grandpa's box arrives. hugs to my little cousin... I am proud of you!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dani-- I don't speak Nepali, but I know it is quite similar to Hindi. Sanskrit and Hindi (and I'm pretty sure Nepali) all share the same basic sentence structure. In english, we are used to a Subject-Verb-Object structure (I eat food). These Asian languages are all opposite, in that they use a Subject-Object-Verb structure. This takes a LOT of getting used to, and to explain that to a child must be very difficult.

    For example, when you are introducing yourself, "Hello, my name is Dani." In Nepali, it would be switched around to, "Hello, my name Dani is." Try to think of life from that perspective for your time there...

    It's daunting to think whether or not you're ready for teaching them, but in my opinion, if you teach a students ONE thing that they can go home and be excited about when they get tell their parents about school that day, then you made an impression on that girl's life.

    For the mean time-- have you been learning anything about Buddhism? Meditation? One of the 8 limbs of yoga that I refer to when I'm feeling... out of balance... is सन्तोष (santosha)... which translates literally to "contentment." I focus about how lucky I am to be where I am in life, and it really helps to brings inner peace.

    I might get सन्तोष tattooed somewhere lovely. Yeah. I might need to do that. Anyways, good luck! Keep your head up! If you have any questions about the customs, characters or anything else I can help you with-- let me know.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Remember what I told you yesterday, Dani. :) Stay positive and keep your head up through it all! Love you, Cani poop.

    ReplyDelete
  12. ahh dude. then the first part of me practicing the सन्तोष lol is that i am so lucky to have you all in my life. you all are so helpful =]

    mariah i have not learned much because there is only like 8% buddhists and the rest are hindu. i have learned tho that the two religions are very very tolerant of one another which is awesome. i hope to learn more when i go to the temple!

    hannah i love you hahaha and i think about that every day!
    =]

    ReplyDelete

comments are much appreciated =]